Steady Ender

Walking into the office this am, I was reminded of something I hadn't thought about in years. The phrase 'steady ender' popped unbidden into my head, and I remembered that in an effort to blend in my elementary school playground, I took the end at jump rope--and stayed there.

Why? The other girls used to make fun of me putting my arms up before I jumped in.

I'm not sure what happened, whether I got tired of always being on the end or if some one felt sorry for me, but I became a group project--the whole bunch wanted me to jump in, and jump rope, like the rest of them.

"Keep your arms DOWN," I remember Rita screaming at me. Or it was Tina? One of the big mouths, but I'll be damned if I can remember which one it was. And I learned how to jump in with my arms down, just like the rest of them.

Which leads me to wonder, how many of Nic's mistakes does Nic need to make on his own? How many times does he need to get schooled on the playground? At one point do I step back and trust his peers enough to take on teaching Nic? The other day in front of B's house was instructive to me--he is too old to have mom coach him in front of his peers if he wants to fit in. I will need to step back and let him fly or fail.

Failure is the best teacher--but am I ready to step back?

And is Nic ready for me to step back?