Monday, June 30, 2014


At what point does one give up?

I'm locked in a constant search to find something--anything--my kids  can do. In some ways, it's been easier to find stuff for G. He's never been the behavior issue his brother is/has been. But having said that, he's quieter, he tends to disappear in his own head, so people tend to overlook him.

Unless of course I've drawn attention to him.

I sign him up for things, often against his will. After all, he'd be on the computer all the time if I didn't.

But I have to be prepared for the downside of that.

He's a sweet, goofy, lovable kid who digs in and keeps going no matter what.

Maybe it's time to define 'what.'

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Navigating Heartbreak

My older son is now a high school student.

His nervousness was palpable as he filed in with his classmates to the high school auditorium yesterday morning. His shoulders hunched a little less when he glimpsed me and his dad in the crowd. And they squared as he mounted the podium to shake hands with the school board.
And he is quite the young man, now.  He sought our eyes a few times over the course of the ceremony. It was long(ish). And hot. And crowded. But he made it through, just like the rest of his peers. 

After the ceremony, dad and I surfed the crowd, looking for him. Outside, I found B and his mom. I congratulated them both, and as I chatted with them, I was acutely aware that they were both distinctly uncomfortable talking to me. So smiling, I turned away and looked for my men. 

A little later on, we went to a local eatery to celebrate, the three of us. And there were quite a few of Nic's classmates there, in groups. And there was my son with his folks. They poked each other and pointed. Nic did not notice.  All Nic noticed was that he got to sit at the bar with the adults with his burger and seltzer. And he wished his friend went to the same school as him. 

I'm not sure what my point is. I am elated beyond belief that he was promoted at his home school with his peers.

OTOH, I had my husband kicking me at different times during the ceremony. Like when the girl giving the send off speech said that in the seventh grade, you might change friends.

"If you have friends to start with," I muttered. Kick one.

And the part about sorting through Bar/Bat Mitzvah memorabilia:

"Assuming you were invited to any," I muttered. Kick two.

I forget what the third one was about, but you get my drift. 

So, my son has made massive gains this year because of inclusion. But he still remains socially isolated. And I worry this will continue. Don't get me wrong--I love, respect, and admire all the teachers and staff that have helped get him to where he is now.

But I can't ignore the fact that he has no friends in this place.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Finding the quiet

So, older son graduates 8th grade from his home middle school tomorrow. Younger son moves one year closer to middle school.

I've been so overwhelmed by the demands of daily live that it really takes some enforced down time to understand the magnitude of this accomplishment.

And realize how daunting the gauntlet ahead is.

This summer will be spent preparing for 9th grade--literally and figuratively. We need to get our house in order and we need a plan.  Up until now, the plan has been rather fluid, since my expectations have required adjustment and re-adjustment over the years.

Now,  we need plans A-Z--and maybe beyond. My recent employment history has given me a great deal of experience strategizing for various events and outcomes. These things have only been practice for the real thing.

It's go time.

Now is the time to prepare for the rest of his life.

God speed us on our way.