Friday, June 5, 2009

Mental Laundry Sort

Have to finish the narrative for G’s placement today. His teacher gave me some new information that would be helpful. Meanwhile, dad is taking Nic to the neuro and the ped about his meds and the bull’s eye, in that order.

I have some work stuff that needs catching up, and hopefully I can get all that done today before I leave.

Meanwhile, my face has stitches and I have post surgical care stuff I need to do on my back and I can’t reach either location. That’s frustrating.

And I let R’s mom know that Nic lied about implicating him in the infamous bathroom incident this week. Turns out she had no idea and thanked me for apprising her.

Which begs the question: how can she let her kid go to school and not know what goes on with him? I envy her that freedom from worry. Sometimes I feel choked by my own need for vigilance. BUT…there is a cost for the lack of it, so it’s not even like free will is involved—I HAVE to know what’s going on, because when stuff goes wrong, I won’t know how to fix it otherwise.

Further begging the question—at what point can I step back? The dream—the goal—the vision—is that they be fully independent, functioning members of society. I like to think I am arming them with what they need to get there right now. But at what point do I let them try it out?

I celebrate a lot of small milestones that would pass unnoticed by the typical parent. But it’s such a fight to get to those points for us. It’s such a fight to get them included, when inclusion is just a matter-of-fact for most kids (and their parents). I feel that I get looked at for ‘having a lot of nerve’ for ‘assuming’ my right to have my kids included.

So I’m nervy. Add it to the list.

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