No Bully Zones Are No Place for the Defenseless

I sit here with my heart hammering in my chest in the wee hours of the morning, wondering what damage I've done to my older child.

You see, in working with the school to make sure Nic behaves, he has been losing computer privileges at home every time I get a story about his mouth with teachers or behavior on the playground. For the record, he has been awesome in the classroom 99% of the time, so by and large he has been losing computer over recess.

Well, that's not going to happen anymore.

Because you see, something awful happened on Tuesday that ripped the cover off the facade of what the school purports they have been doing for my son. The principal assured me her first responsibility was creating a safe place for all students.

I discovered yesterday that her school is NOT, as it stands right now, a safe place for my son.

What happened on Tuesday was bad. But the upside of what happened was that I had a 40 minute conversation yesterday with the other mom. Who told me her son told her "Well, everyone throws wood chips at Nic." And "Everyone teases Nic."

And gives all those times that Nic told me "it's not fair!" gravitas.

So when I told Nic that I talked to the other boy's mom, and told her what he told me, his whole face lit up in that rare and beautiful way it does when I have done exactly what I needed to do for him, and he was not able to articulate what he needed.

He will hang in there. Because he is tough, beautiful and brave.

And I will, once again, arm for battle and get him what he needs.

Part of me is torn up beyond words, but I am only going to use that to get me where I need to go.

Yet I am human, and what the bigger world does to me and my family keeps me up at night.