Saturday, May 30, 2009

The Obligatory IEP Update Plus.....

They actually offered me an alternative placement at another school in our district, for which I will schedule an observation....BUT

G will go to his home school. Here is why:

1) he expects to be in school there next year
2) Nic expects him to be there
3) they will ride the big bus together
4) they didn't realize they told me at the beginning of the meeting that the alternative placement had lower functioning kids and was actually a segregated class the first part of the day
5) They told me at the end "Well, G would be the only K'er in our school with ASD."
6) I really don't care if he's the only kid at that level with ASD--they have the supports in place at that school for him anyway and
7) there will be at least 3 more kids dx'ed in his class by 2nd grade if current trends hold.

So. I will humor them and see this other placement. But my mind is made up.

They will have to knock my socks clean into the washing machine and turn the damn thing on to change my mind.

Nic had a good couple weeks despite having had a sub in school. Yesterday he came home and asked to go to the local 'fountain store' (mall) for elevator adventures, and we somehow managed to be there for three hours. (Well, the new UP books were at the bookstore and they had to read every last one of them....) Dh brought home pizza, and we arrived almost exactly the same time he did, so that worked out all right.

We did a post mortem of the IEP after the kids left the table, and as usual he called me 'strident', 'unyielding', 'stubborn', and all the usual flattering things post IEP meeting. He didn't have anything to say, which was probably good, because every one has learned to fear him opening his mouth at these meetings, and G's teacher was there to back me up on all the points I disagreed with in the evaluation report.

It was a good meeting, but I will think it brilliant once I have the NOREP with the placement I want and with the services G needs in it.

Okay, much to do around here, so may as well get to it. Going up to MIL's for dinner and so far no suggestion of her coming back with us. I had to meet BIL and wife in town to notarize some paperwork or other at the Italian consulate. Talk was stilted. I think they blame me for a lot of stuff, starting with my kids' issues and ending with DH's relative estrangement from them.

I already said that I am NOT managing the latter--DH is, and whatever his relationship is or isn't with BIL or MIL is not my doing. That DH has chosen me is the beginning and end of discussion. He had to see some things on his own and make his own decisions about how to handle it/them.

I don't get a vote in those matters--nor should I.

So am I feeling some guilt? No, guilt's not the right word. Regret maybe. Regret that everything they do is SO either-or, no room for compromise, really no room for anyone but them. If you are not for them, you are against them, so they think.

You know, life is REALLY not that simple.

But they are. And we have to live with that.

On a cheerier note, my buddy from Maryland invited us down to her digs when school lets out. We have Nic's first CYO breakfast tomorrow, and he's coming out with me this am for breakfast and errands with a friend. G is going to tee-ball with DH, then we'll all meet up to go swimming and have lunch after.

And I signed the boys up for tennis. I think we're doing ok.

No comments: