Friday, December 26, 2008

Larger than Life

Somewhat appropriate that Dennis Wilson is singing "Under the Moonlight" as I type. Talk about some one who was bigger than his physical self--I was telling some one yesterday that DW always looked so much taller than he actually was (5'9) and it was always a shock seeing him next to his literal big brother Brian (6'4).

Literal size has almost zero to do with presence.

So what is it, then, some combination of aura, physical stature and sheer force of personality? I just find myself thinking in terms of presence these days, and it might in part be a way of dealing with the physical absence of loved ones this holiday season. We went to my uncle's house Christmas Eve, and it was weird, not having Gran there, the first Christmas she is gone. He is doing well, better than I expected, decorating his tree as ever with help from me and the boys.

Gran wasn't there, but she was. The house is different now, but she was there at least in spirit. And my uncle, oddly, fills the space of the house in a way he didn't while she was still alive. He is a tall (6'4) man, but his reticence makes him seem smaller. Not so this year. Not so now.

Gran is gone, but he continues to care (in his own way) for the women who cared for Gran the last few years. He makes them dinner on holidays and has them over. They are his family, as are the cats he adopts.

My mom used to say he didn't have a life. I would argue that he does--a far richer and more nuanced one than most of us.

My hat's off to him. I think he gets things most of us have missed.

1 comment:

Kimmber said...


I'm glad you were able to feel your gran there with you.