A Bone To Pick

 OMG how many times have I been on the receiving end of someone having a bone to pick with me over this or that.

The problem with being the omega in the pack is that you do come to think that everything is your fault.  If you're lucky, you happen into a family of your creation who helps you to see that while you are accountable for what you do, you have little to no control over the narrative that others write for you (and expect you to fulfill).

Word to the wise:  you aren't responsible for that, either. 

Finding language to wrap around this is difficult.  I always felt that I was given short shrift, but I didn't have the words to advocate for myself. Sure, I had lots of words, but never a word in my own defense or on my own behalf. There were plenty of times I felt that someone was dead WRONG, but everyone else fell in line behind dead wrong, so I stayed silent.

Or people called me crazy. I realized that no matter what I said, it would be dismissed out of hand. 

The best thing about these situations is that they taught me how to walk away. 

And they taught me words to stick up for myself and for my kids. 

I'm thinking about another blog that is forming in my head: about the power of words and the sleight of hand; about how when words fail to back up actions, you wonder what else the talker is hiding. I was going to go there today, but the whole idea of being on the defensive one's whole life  is top of mind at the moment. 

I know that by my actions, I say an awful lot.

And sometimes that's better than knowing a whole lot of words.