Divergent

 Struggling with some stuff, so going to focus on better things....

Like my younger guy. 

He is in many ways his brother's opposite.  Activities were in some ways less an overt struggle. Part of my hegira with big brother was all about retracing our steps, autopsying old wounds, celebrating the stuff that went right and to some extent shrugging off all the stuff that went sideways.

(Also it made me go back and read blogs from 10 years ago. It's a small miracle that I am not in jail.)

My younger is yin to his brother's yang; he has grown up in his brother's shade and to some extent, his protection. Looking back, though, the road he has forged is uniquely his own.

We did a lot of the usual; soccer, tee-ball, cub scouts, always with me there in some capacity as coach or leader. We tried the local pops one summer (I was given a tee-shirt and allowed to be my son's 'aide'), and while that wasn't something he would go back to, the music would endure. He was in orchestra for a spell in elementary, and band through elementary and middle school. (I do have a snippet of him jamming out on "All About the Bass" at once concert--it was clear he enjoyed playing that.) He did chorus through middle school.

High school, however, was all about marching band.  Despite the rough start (thinking back to the phone conversations I had with a very frustrated band director), G settled in and did his bit parts.  (I always argue fruitlessly that both boys do better with more to do. But anyway.) I had gotten Tier I clearances so became the 'steady ender' on the band bus to and from away games and competitions.  G never sits anywhere near me but is happy that I am on his bus and he knows I'm there if he needs anything. (he never does.)

Officially, he was allowed to be 'done' once he got his varsity letter and jacket.  But I think he can't resist one more year with me on the bus with him--and it wouldn't happen any other way.  So I renew my clearances so I can ride with him one more year. 

So the time I shared with younger as he grew up certainly looked a lot different from the time I shared with his brother. Not better or worse--just different.

Today, he poses for his senior portraits. I see him waving at me from the oval of his elementary school as I left him after his last race for education.

I see his brother waving as he walks away during middle school, off on a new adventure.

I see his brother meet my eyes from the football field the day he walked with his class.

I see them both as they were.

And I see them both wave goodbye to that.