Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Self-cleaning Communication Breakdown

I'm just shoehorning those two ideas together because that's the way I roll, and both have been top of mind. I think the biggest reason the whole noisy breakup from last week looms so large is that I haven't had a break with anyone that big or noisy since, well, 24 years ago, and not surprisingly, a very similar personality was involved.

I had adopted a philosophy of appeasement in the earlier situation-basically covering over parts of my personality to make the other person happy. I realized--fortunately--that this methodology is unsustainable in any relationship. (And really, it doesn't bode well when the song some one dedicates to you has the line "sometimes I'd like to break you and bring you to your knees." Really?) As for the latter, I thought that was done and over, since I had no contact with the parties involved for months.

This has never been an issue. Most transitory relationships have a way of quietly fading away and no one is any more the worse for it. Real friendships can withstand just about anything. It's those relationships that can't, well, they served some purpose for both parties while it existed.

I think most people are reasonable when relationships end. But I guess it is also reasonable for people who are the beneficiaries of a relationship to be bitter.

And the other thing I keep coming back to is that I can't understand how this person thought this relationship was any more than it was.

But, some people are just takers. And that's the way they roll.

And I for one, just would sooner roll out of their way. Life's too short.

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