And learned that less is indeed more.
The kids had a great time. We spent Christmas Eve in the company of ALL My sibs and their families this year. It made for a packed house, literally (27 people in a NE Philly row house), but it was a good time. We stopped by to help my uncle decorate his tree on the way home.
I was up before everyone yesterday am and came down and did some last minute 'Santa' work before the kids came down.
We bought much less this year, but the kids loved what they got. Perhaps because they don't want much to begin with, and perhaps because this year they could tell us exactly what they wanted.
In any case, I said we'd keep it simple, and we did. And it worked out fine.
We went to mass at our own church this year, and as usual, Fr M knocked it out of the park. We all stopped by to wish him a merry Christmas. Then off to BIL's.
We have nothing planned this week except dinner with my friend K on NYE. Nic has lost his puter until after the New Year--which is fine, because he is reading instead. We are also going to finish memorizing the damn multiplication tables.
YEAH. I'll finish cleaning up around here, and then time to relax. :)
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
The Frog in Gradually Heating Water
Either there is something wrong with me or I am almost completely done holiday stuff, because I am not panicking.
It's the first. Still haven't even thought about holiday cards and need to purchase baking stuff. Still need to run out and get Nic's aide's gift. And I have two more interviews to do before the holiday (Nic blew up spectacularly while I was on speaker phone yesterday. It was not a good evening).
The house is clean, thanks to an impromptu dinner invite and the scramble that follows. Hubby usually hates me while we're cleaning, but ultimately he is happy a) we had a reason to clean and b) we socialize, and I think we need to do it more often, because it would keep us motivated to keep the place clean.
I'm looking for Nic's library book, which is rather pointless, because I don't think it's here. He's lost the computer until the new year because of his antics yesterday.
I have about 10 more questionnaires to get through for G's 6-year eval tomorrow.
And I need to finish a draft of my article--for me, if for no other reason.
I dunno. I should be stressed, but maybe I'm just beyond stressed. G's class party went fine yesterday, but he really does not feel like he is part of that class. And no wonder, all the kids in his class know each other from preschool. Bleh. I hope he has a different mix of kids next year.
Speaking of whom, here he is. Time for breakfast.
It's the first. Still haven't even thought about holiday cards and need to purchase baking stuff. Still need to run out and get Nic's aide's gift. And I have two more interviews to do before the holiday (Nic blew up spectacularly while I was on speaker phone yesterday. It was not a good evening).
The house is clean, thanks to an impromptu dinner invite and the scramble that follows. Hubby usually hates me while we're cleaning, but ultimately he is happy a) we had a reason to clean and b) we socialize, and I think we need to do it more often, because it would keep us motivated to keep the place clean.
I'm looking for Nic's library book, which is rather pointless, because I don't think it's here. He's lost the computer until the new year because of his antics yesterday.
I have about 10 more questionnaires to get through for G's 6-year eval tomorrow.
And I need to finish a draft of my article--for me, if for no other reason.
I dunno. I should be stressed, but maybe I'm just beyond stressed. G's class party went fine yesterday, but he really does not feel like he is part of that class. And no wonder, all the kids in his class know each other from preschool. Bleh. I hope he has a different mix of kids next year.
Speaking of whom, here he is. Time for breakfast.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
The Answer is No
God always answers prayers, but it doesn't mean you'll like His answers.
The mix of yesterday's events reminds me that everything happens for a reason. At around 3:30 yesterday, I received news that I had on some level been expecting. There would be no 11th hour reprieve for the kids' pool. It shuts January 1, and their lessons for the rest of the year are canceled.
Taken with an early am invite for the boys to go to a neighbor's house in the pm, things balanced. It was clear by the last-minute nature of the invite that the issuer wasn't sure she wanted to make it. After all, what if I accepted?
Anyway, I told Nic about it when he got off the bus. Initially, he said no, G could go and he would be quite all right by himself.
I promised him hot dogs for dinner if he went. Grudgingly, he accepted the deal.
G was happy to have an invite for a playdate.
So I walked them around the corner. I reminded Nic of the rules. I think he was happy to be invited, but understandably nervous.
I was surprised when mom threw me out. I made sure she had my number before I left.
This was a first. This is the first time I left one--let alone both--boys at some one's house for a party or a play date.
Of course I sat the whole time with the phone in my lap.
When I got them a little over an hour later, my neighbors were already there getting their kids--and they were going to bring mine home. And hosting mom approached me and told me how wonderful my boys were--and they were welcome any time.
WOW.
So when I pull back on the pool thing and look at the bigger picture, it *MIGHT* be possible to think that my kids are ready for township aquatics. The pool just opened, it's zero-grade entry, and by all accounts, the only thing it lacks is the play area their pool had. Considering both boys are swimmers now, it may not be a deal breaker.
SO. I'll be contacting the township next week and looking to fill the gaps left by the program that no longer exists (it does, but for my purposes, it's off the table, as it won't come back--if it does--until September).
I still don't have an answer to my neuro problem, but one crisis at a time.
Oh, Nic is also managing the bully situation. He's friends with B again, has his bodyguards, but his teacher would not let him go to the principal about the other ASD kid who suddenly can't seem to leave him alone. I told him to stop by and see her on the way to class Monday am.
I know the teacher doesn't want Nic to get the other ASD kid in trouble, but bullying is bullying--REGARDLESS of who is doing it. And it needs to get dealt with.
The mix of yesterday's events reminds me that everything happens for a reason. At around 3:30 yesterday, I received news that I had on some level been expecting. There would be no 11th hour reprieve for the kids' pool. It shuts January 1, and their lessons for the rest of the year are canceled.
Taken with an early am invite for the boys to go to a neighbor's house in the pm, things balanced. It was clear by the last-minute nature of the invite that the issuer wasn't sure she wanted to make it. After all, what if I accepted?
Anyway, I told Nic about it when he got off the bus. Initially, he said no, G could go and he would be quite all right by himself.
I promised him hot dogs for dinner if he went. Grudgingly, he accepted the deal.
G was happy to have an invite for a playdate.
So I walked them around the corner. I reminded Nic of the rules. I think he was happy to be invited, but understandably nervous.
I was surprised when mom threw me out. I made sure she had my number before I left.
This was a first. This is the first time I left one--let alone both--boys at some one's house for a party or a play date.
Of course I sat the whole time with the phone in my lap.
When I got them a little over an hour later, my neighbors were already there getting their kids--and they were going to bring mine home. And hosting mom approached me and told me how wonderful my boys were--and they were welcome any time.
WOW.
So when I pull back on the pool thing and look at the bigger picture, it *MIGHT* be possible to think that my kids are ready for township aquatics. The pool just opened, it's zero-grade entry, and by all accounts, the only thing it lacks is the play area their pool had. Considering both boys are swimmers now, it may not be a deal breaker.
SO. I'll be contacting the township next week and looking to fill the gaps left by the program that no longer exists (it does, but for my purposes, it's off the table, as it won't come back--if it does--until September).
I still don't have an answer to my neuro problem, but one crisis at a time.
Oh, Nic is also managing the bully situation. He's friends with B again, has his bodyguards, but his teacher would not let him go to the principal about the other ASD kid who suddenly can't seem to leave him alone. I told him to stop by and see her on the way to class Monday am.
I know the teacher doesn't want Nic to get the other ASD kid in trouble, but bullying is bullying--REGARDLESS of who is doing it. And it needs to get dealt with.
Friday, December 18, 2009
'Don't give up on me'
I really need to finish clean out operations. But the truth is, I am overwhelmed.
One part of me would very easily like to resolve this by sticking everything in a trashbag and out to the curb and let the landfill deal with it.
The more socially responsible (and OCD) part of me wants to get pieces of toys ALL together neatly and donate.
In short, the second part is really screwing me. Especially since toys and parts are scattered among three floors, multiple containers and even the stuff I thought I had all the parts for (and have given away) are turning up.
It's enough to make any OCD person insane.
Anyway, thinking on my friend M this am. We talked at length for the first time in months yesterday, and I am haunted by her words as we hung up--"Don't give up on me."
How many times in life have I given up on people? More often than not, I'm the one who is given up because I am not as bright, popular, flashy or pretty as some. Lest I sound bitter, I'm not--I'm resigned to the fact that I am one of those 'friends for a reason or a season.' My two best friends have been with me longer than 20 years, so I don't much care--I'm not a people collector.
But for some one to say that to me? I guess she knows I'll be here when she's ready.
She just wants to make sure. And that's okay.
One part of me would very easily like to resolve this by sticking everything in a trashbag and out to the curb and let the landfill deal with it.
The more socially responsible (and OCD) part of me wants to get pieces of toys ALL together neatly and donate.
In short, the second part is really screwing me. Especially since toys and parts are scattered among three floors, multiple containers and even the stuff I thought I had all the parts for (and have given away) are turning up.
It's enough to make any OCD person insane.
Anyway, thinking on my friend M this am. We talked at length for the first time in months yesterday, and I am haunted by her words as we hung up--"Don't give up on me."
How many times in life have I given up on people? More often than not, I'm the one who is given up because I am not as bright, popular, flashy or pretty as some. Lest I sound bitter, I'm not--I'm resigned to the fact that I am one of those 'friends for a reason or a season.' My two best friends have been with me longer than 20 years, so I don't much care--I'm not a people collector.
But for some one to say that to me? I guess she knows I'll be here when she's ready.
She just wants to make sure. And that's okay.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Last Time
Generally speaking, you can remember your firsts and lasts.
To this day, I have no idea when the last time I saw my father was. I have maybe a half dozen memories that could be 'it', but I don't know for sure.
I didn't get to say goodbye, which also is something I have a hard time with.
Anyway, last night I got into the pool with the boys because I'm not sure there will still be a pool after break--at least this particular pool. So instead of my customary laps (I only got in two), I spent a good half hour rough housing with them both in the play area. You can tell they are good swimmers now--Nic doesn't exactly match me stroke for stroke, but he comes close.
If this is a last time, I want the kids to remember it.
And if not, it's just another great memory.
Ah, life. It goes by way too fast.
To this day, I have no idea when the last time I saw my father was. I have maybe a half dozen memories that could be 'it', but I don't know for sure.
I didn't get to say goodbye, which also is something I have a hard time with.
Anyway, last night I got into the pool with the boys because I'm not sure there will still be a pool after break--at least this particular pool. So instead of my customary laps (I only got in two), I spent a good half hour rough housing with them both in the play area. You can tell they are good swimmers now--Nic doesn't exactly match me stroke for stroke, but he comes close.
If this is a last time, I want the kids to remember it.
And if not, it's just another great memory.
Ah, life. It goes by way too fast.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Crazy productive
I sent the initial contacts out for my next assignment this am. And the rest of the day has been a buzz of productivity.
The van needed major service, so I left it and went to get work set up for our roof, which has apparently seen better days. So, we are in the queue for that and getting the gutters cleaned. What fun.
Then I spent the next two hours in Marshall's. It was so nice to be able to look at things in leisure and not have to worry about one kid or the other breaking something. I picked stuff up, put it down, wandered around the whole place two or three times.
Confession time: this will be a decidedly unfun Christmas. I just spent the better part of the last two weeks cleaning out toys bought with the very best of intentions that have seen little actual play and a lot of floor/clutter time. Time to give things to kids who will play with them and appreciate them.
So what I'm doing is quite novel--actually, for this generation. I do this anyway to some degree, but this year, my gift are by and large utilitarian. A coat, gloves, boots, sleeping bags for both boys. Sure, there will be books and music, but there is not one thing that neither boy will not use.
This actually feels pretty good. And my little one actually wanted very little this year, so I know he will be happy with what he opens on Christmas morning.
I know it's not about the stuff. Hell, I don't even want anything (but for my kid's pool to stay open, that would be pretty schweet). But, I know from talking to them both about this that it's going to be a good, happy day.
Because, beginning and end, we'll be spending it together, with our families. Thank God.
The van needed major service, so I left it and went to get work set up for our roof, which has apparently seen better days. So, we are in the queue for that and getting the gutters cleaned. What fun.
Then I spent the next two hours in Marshall's. It was so nice to be able to look at things in leisure and not have to worry about one kid or the other breaking something. I picked stuff up, put it down, wandered around the whole place two or three times.
Confession time: this will be a decidedly unfun Christmas. I just spent the better part of the last two weeks cleaning out toys bought with the very best of intentions that have seen little actual play and a lot of floor/clutter time. Time to give things to kids who will play with them and appreciate them.
So what I'm doing is quite novel--actually, for this generation. I do this anyway to some degree, but this year, my gift are by and large utilitarian. A coat, gloves, boots, sleeping bags for both boys. Sure, there will be books and music, but there is not one thing that neither boy will not use.
This actually feels pretty good. And my little one actually wanted very little this year, so I know he will be happy with what he opens on Christmas morning.
I know it's not about the stuff. Hell, I don't even want anything (but for my kid's pool to stay open, that would be pretty schweet). But, I know from talking to them both about this that it's going to be a good, happy day.
Because, beginning and end, we'll be spending it together, with our families. Thank God.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Mercy and Second Chances
I just heard that Nic successfully handled another bus situation this morning. The kid has truly learned to fight some of his own battles.
That used to be a big phrase when I was growing up: "Fight your own battles." That was usually said when reinforcements were brought in, and I needed all the help I could get.
I realized while having breakfast with a good friend this morning what a huge, huge deficit I ran my entire life without my father around to coach me. I am here, and I can coach Nic, because I understand the unique challenges he faces.
My dad understood the challenges I would face, but he also knew he wouldn't be around to coach me.
Thirty-five years and change later, I get it.
In other news, I've had a little holiday cheer and mercy come my way. I know mercy when I see it, and I promise to try to deserve it.
I have my marching order, and now to get it done.
That used to be a big phrase when I was growing up: "Fight your own battles." That was usually said when reinforcements were brought in, and I needed all the help I could get.
I realized while having breakfast with a good friend this morning what a huge, huge deficit I ran my entire life without my father around to coach me. I am here, and I can coach Nic, because I understand the unique challenges he faces.
My dad understood the challenges I would face, but he also knew he wouldn't be around to coach me.
Thirty-five years and change later, I get it.
In other news, I've had a little holiday cheer and mercy come my way. I know mercy when I see it, and I promise to try to deserve it.
I have my marching order, and now to get it done.
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