Majority

 I now have two kids over the age of 18. Two adult children.

I've been sitting with this a little while. It feels like just last week I could contain them both on my lap. Physically, either of them could pick me up now. But since we have the extra stuff, it's not like I can throw up my hands and say "Yay!" if for no other reason that I can't die anytime soon. 

So I'm doing all the health stuff, physicals, tests that need doing, looking into a sore throat that's persisted for three weeks, trying to figure out who I still need to call to schedule something with. I'm keeping a list, so over the next few days, I hope to knock it all out.

A friend passed this past week, another warrior mom who devoted her life to making things better for other people. It's no accident that my last memory of her was up at a place my family loved, talking for hours in the med shed. She didn't chase me out, sensing probably that I needed to unload with someone who gets it. I don't even remember what we talked about, except it was an easy conversation, and there were lots of spaces for silence, and I was allowed to just be there. And that in it of itself was a great comfort. 

Just had a half waking dream where I was spending time with her--it could have simply been a sun-drenched memory, or perhaps I was talking to her. I don't know. All I know is that she leaves behind a lot of people who are going to miss her. 

Kathy Baas, I remember you.