I know it's been a while. My life has been insane. Well, more so than usual.
I have much more to say but for right now, the following will have to do. The work sit is no clearer now than it was last week, but the heart palpitations have (for the moment) gone away. I came back from the seminar I gave on Friday and had a message from the magazine--so two stories for the ext two months are secure.
That's one part. I have another big chunk yet to account for, and I still don't know where that's going to come from. But I have two trainings in two weeks, plus some leads for additional sessions. And we will be covered for the conference again this year. So life is good. So far. For the moment.
But my mind was taken off these things by some bigger gains this past weekend. Nic had two issues he needed to problem solve, one at swimming, and another during soccer--and he resolved both on his own. He and Gabe sat through ten innings of the Phillies game on Saturday night--and did fine.
Sunday both boys came to church with me. Nic had a birthday party to attend (his second this year). It was laser tag, and definitely an iffy situation for him, but he went in with the rest of the kids and had a great time. The neighbor's granddaughter came over and knocked for Nic when we came back, and she and her twin played with Nic and Gabe for an hour before dinner.
All this stuff sounds amazingly normal and ho-hum, but when you take it with the fact that only a year ago, NONE of this would have been happening, it's pretty amazing, period.
May is shaping up to be a busy month for us, too. I remember a day not too long ago when I would have been scrambling for things for us to do, and it looks like suddenly, we have a lot going on. In a good way.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Saturday, September 22, 2007
meandering chardonnay fueled rant
Where to start? Dh is stuck in Italy; he left a week ago today and was supposed to get in yesterday. Long story short, he overslept, missed his flight, and won't be in until tomorrow.
Nic. Ah, Nic. Kicking academic tush in 2nd grade thus far, but is so seriously lacking in support (his teacher is split between two classrooms and they just got around to hiring an aide...whom I am beginning to understand is not enough). I get emails basically blaming Nic for his own bad behavior when it seems to me that it's easier to blame nic than to give him the support he needs. Seriously considering calling an IEP on this NOW.
More Nic. We started swim lessons this week, as I have found a pool both boys will get into. We did family swim at that pool today. I feel good about this. I think I've found something that both boys can have fun and success with.
More Nic. So our last day of our parish carnival was today and I took both boys. They had a blast, except one man kept Gabe off a ride that I think Gabe was tall enough for (or one kid got off who was Gabe's height, and he had no adult with him--so I don't know why Gabe was kept off, esp since I was riding with him, but anyway). The big downer was the big slide. We rode it about 10 times, but the guy at the top, when he saw how upset Nic was when he didn't give Nic the middle lane, kept pushing him to one side or the other. I finally marched up there and told him "Shame on you, he's autistic. Give him the middle lane and stop riding him like that!" (I had been going down with Gabe and we weren't all together--I would just see Nic looking upset, and of course, Nic loses his ability to put a coherent sentence together when he's upset).
The guy just gave me a look like I had two heads. Didn't even have the humanity to look ashamed at harassing a disabled kid.
Right now I'm just p*ssed off. Why does eveything have to be such a freaking up hill battle? I would love it if for one day I wouldn't have to be putting on my battle garb for one boy or the other.
(ps, Gabriel STILL doesn't have an IEP or notice of placement, even though he's been going to school the new four-day schedule).
Tired of this sh*t. Need a vacation. Or more wine.
Nic. Ah, Nic. Kicking academic tush in 2nd grade thus far, but is so seriously lacking in support (his teacher is split between two classrooms and they just got around to hiring an aide...whom I am beginning to understand is not enough). I get emails basically blaming Nic for his own bad behavior when it seems to me that it's easier to blame nic than to give him the support he needs. Seriously considering calling an IEP on this NOW.
More Nic. We started swim lessons this week, as I have found a pool both boys will get into. We did family swim at that pool today. I feel good about this. I think I've found something that both boys can have fun and success with.
More Nic. So our last day of our parish carnival was today and I took both boys. They had a blast, except one man kept Gabe off a ride that I think Gabe was tall enough for (or one kid got off who was Gabe's height, and he had no adult with him--so I don't know why Gabe was kept off, esp since I was riding with him, but anyway). The big downer was the big slide. We rode it about 10 times, but the guy at the top, when he saw how upset Nic was when he didn't give Nic the middle lane, kept pushing him to one side or the other. I finally marched up there and told him "Shame on you, he's autistic. Give him the middle lane and stop riding him like that!" (I had been going down with Gabe and we weren't all together--I would just see Nic looking upset, and of course, Nic loses his ability to put a coherent sentence together when he's upset).
The guy just gave me a look like I had two heads. Didn't even have the humanity to look ashamed at harassing a disabled kid.
Right now I'm just p*ssed off. Why does eveything have to be such a freaking up hill battle? I would love it if for one day I wouldn't have to be putting on my battle garb for one boy or the other.
(ps, Gabriel STILL doesn't have an IEP or notice of placement, even though he's been going to school the new four-day schedule).
Tired of this sh*t. Need a vacation. Or more wine.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
End of the week, month, summer
Had the audit yesterday. I thought IEP meetings were bad, but this was worse. Nothing is resolved; more info is needed, and I pray that whatever we provide will be enough to absolve us. Thinking we should hire out to do taxes from now on, as general incompetence seems to have triggered this.
And my biz, of course. Maybe I should work for some one else and get my W-2 and call it a day (shouldn't have even typed that, I just gave myself hives).
SO I've learned a few lessons here. Things are not bad or unmanageable, but sometimes taken together with the autism (can you believe THAT came up in the audit??)--not so much autism, but all the complications that ensue, especially with Nic--well, I think sometimes that getting a get out of shit free card should be mine for the playing.
But it's not, so I deal.
And my biz, of course. Maybe I should work for some one else and get my W-2 and call it a day (shouldn't have even typed that, I just gave myself hives).
SO I've learned a few lessons here. Things are not bad or unmanageable, but sometimes taken together with the autism (can you believe THAT came up in the audit??)--not so much autism, but all the complications that ensue, especially with Nic--well, I think sometimes that getting a get out of shit free card should be mine for the playing.
But it's not, so I deal.
We've come a long way in two years
We had the semi annual dentist appointment yesterday, wherein we all go en familie to get our teeth checked, cleaned etc.
Two years ago, Nic needed restraints to get the cleaning done (and two teeth pulled). I hated to do it, but the only other choice was anesthetizing him, which I refused to do. We got it done, but with no shortage of screaming, yelling and general mayhem.
A year ago, we didn't need the restraints, but Nic needed to be in my lap. And he did a fair share of yelling from the chair, but at least this time we didn't need to be in a closed room significantly apart from the other patients.
This year? He went to the chair on his own. I was getting my own teeth checked and cleaned a few chairs down and could hear Nic chatting with the hygenist between getting his mouth checked and teeth cleaned. When he was done, he came down to my chair to get his brother and shepherd him over to get his teeth checked and cleaned. (and Gabriel was fine, too).
I never would have imagined that we could actually go to the dentist and have it be a somewhat 'normal' experience. For as far as we have to go, I can't believe how far we've already come.
Two years ago, Nic needed restraints to get the cleaning done (and two teeth pulled). I hated to do it, but the only other choice was anesthetizing him, which I refused to do. We got it done, but with no shortage of screaming, yelling and general mayhem.
A year ago, we didn't need the restraints, but Nic needed to be in my lap. And he did a fair share of yelling from the chair, but at least this time we didn't need to be in a closed room significantly apart from the other patients.
This year? He went to the chair on his own. I was getting my own teeth checked and cleaned a few chairs down and could hear Nic chatting with the hygenist between getting his mouth checked and teeth cleaned. When he was done, he came down to my chair to get his brother and shepherd him over to get his teeth checked and cleaned. (and Gabriel was fine, too).
I never would have imagined that we could actually go to the dentist and have it be a somewhat 'normal' experience. For as far as we have to go, I can't believe how far we've already come.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Having a good time.....our way
So on my day off, what do I do with the boys? Take them to the library, then to the mall, so they can ride elevators; next to Costco, so they can have pizza for lunch, then the Castle Park (so I can do a phone interview in relative peace while they play...the coda to that is that they end my phone call fighting over a bottle of water), then to another park to throw rocks into a very low stream (not much rain here lately), and now we're home. I'm catching up on work stuff, and they are relaxing in the cool and quiet in the room with me.
Sometimes I wish we could do 'normal' stuff. But they are happy to do what they like doing. So I guess it's okay.
Sometimes I wish we could do 'normal' stuff. But they are happy to do what they like doing. So I guess it's okay.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Okay after that last Eeyore Post I have to share a funny
When we were getting the boys ready to go upstairs for bed last night, DH discovered a cell phone on the TV. It didn't belong to either of us. He brought it over to me and asked (half-jokingly) whether my boyfriend left it.
I was flummoxed. I had never seen it before, and my friend Ruth (who has been our only visitor since we got back from the conference) has a smartphone. And she didn't go into the family room.
So DH calls 'Home' in the phone directory and hands it to me. I get a guy named Ted in the next town. I ask him what his phone is doing in my house. He is as puzzled as I am.
In the background, I hear DH saying to Nic "you WHAT?!"
Apparently, Nic found the phone in the library yesterday. Picked it up off the floor. Put it in his pocket. Never said a word about it. (I have visions of him re-enacting something he saw on YouTube, but anyway).
I dropped the phone off this am. For some reason I find this hilarious, that my chatty son has all the sudden discovered the joys of circumspection lol
I was flummoxed. I had never seen it before, and my friend Ruth (who has been our only visitor since we got back from the conference) has a smartphone. And she didn't go into the family room.
So DH calls 'Home' in the phone directory and hands it to me. I get a guy named Ted in the next town. I ask him what his phone is doing in my house. He is as puzzled as I am.
In the background, I hear DH saying to Nic "you WHAT?!"
Apparently, Nic found the phone in the library yesterday. Picked it up off the floor. Put it in his pocket. Never said a word about it. (I have visions of him re-enacting something he saw on YouTube, but anyway).
I dropped the phone off this am. For some reason I find this hilarious, that my chatty son has all the sudden discovered the joys of circumspection lol
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Isolation
For as much as I network, for as much as I put myself out there, and try to get my boys involved in different things, I find autism terribly isolating.
We're doing a special needs tennis program this summer, and even there my boys stand out.
Not in a good way.
I'm trying to get my younger son, who has shown alarming regression, more services. But his case manager has repeatedly sat on my requests, then answers weeks later telling me that it 'isn't her job.'
My older son, for all his intelligence and progress, still has poor social skills and impulse control. My younger son is starting to display these as well.
And I was taken to task for not noticing that a package of turkey I bought at Costco was not vacuum sealed. With the rest of my world falling apart around me, I honestly can't bring myself to care.
As an adult on the spectrum, I need to keep lists of everything I need to do, pay attention to and keep track of the house, my job, my kids, their needs, their stuff....and I am finding that I can't manage the weight of it all right now.
I'm in a tough place. Keep me in your prayers and thoughts.
We're doing a special needs tennis program this summer, and even there my boys stand out.
Not in a good way.
I'm trying to get my younger son, who has shown alarming regression, more services. But his case manager has repeatedly sat on my requests, then answers weeks later telling me that it 'isn't her job.'
My older son, for all his intelligence and progress, still has poor social skills and impulse control. My younger son is starting to display these as well.
And I was taken to task for not noticing that a package of turkey I bought at Costco was not vacuum sealed. With the rest of my world falling apart around me, I honestly can't bring myself to care.
As an adult on the spectrum, I need to keep lists of everything I need to do, pay attention to and keep track of the house, my job, my kids, their needs, their stuff....and I am finding that I can't manage the weight of it all right now.
I'm in a tough place. Keep me in your prayers and thoughts.
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