From the "You Can't Possibly be Serious" File

Okay, we just got back from the orchard. And I have to say, I am just.....gobsmacked.

Yes, we met up with friends, but as it happens, we spent more time with the 'bad' than the good. In a way, it worked out, because our good friends were having a day where they both just wanted mom and no one else. I can respect that.

However, I would have been happier had we done this outing alone. Dear son was a whining, complaining pain in the butt from start to finish. My sons actually were amazingly flexible in accommodating him--but the downside to that was that we were at their whim and mercy. And to that end, we were following them around.

We were out of the big corn maze in near record time. If I had a brain in my head, we would have gone separate ways. But no, we hung in. It wasn't awful, but I could tell my kids were not happy. And as we were waiting in line for ice cream, she actually said to me, "you know, I can take [dear son] more places than most kids with disabilities."

While she was saying this, dear son was deliberately upsetting Nic. I wordlessly moved Nic to my other side. I couldn't get our ice cream fast enough.

They left shortly thereafter, but not before mom made a parting shot about my kids.

That left my jaw on the ground. My kids were absolutely gracious about having dear son upend their outing. I furiously dialed my buddy, who was on the other side of the farm.

And our last hour was wonderful. The kids played well together, moms bonded, and life was good.

We came home, my kids attempted to play with the neighborhood kids. Points for trying.

The Days Are Just Packed

So my day began yesterday at 7:30. I dressed, jumped into the van, and headed for aquatics. I am LOVING this class. So after another kickass workout, I dressed, zipped over to the mall, picked up balloons and treat bags for Gabe's party (and eyed a Wii, in full supply at one of the game stores, so guess what I'm doing later in the week, Merry Christmas to us and I'm done shopping on one swell foop), off the Costco to get the cake, back to rendevous with my friend Carol to pick up her son Bradley to take to our party, back to our house to pick up the boys, and finally, the bowling alley).

Whew! I don't even get to catch my breath. We had 10 kids, including my two--and let's see, 5 had ASD, 1 ADHD, and another with physical issues. I'm laughing because issues or not, this bunch looked like any other bunch having a party there yesterday, except mine was (for reasons above) a smaller group!

It was fine. Gabe like the idea of the party better than the party. His classmates had a great time, and his former teacher was there as well as his current teacher (I love her, she is so good with G), and most of the other parents stuck around, so I was trying to play catch up with a couple of them while trying to keep our group together, keep the food and drink flowing, and maintain order in the preschooler bowling lane.

Love clean up, though--it was quick, minimal, and we zipped right over to soccer after.

Dad made dinner, and we had movie night, Cars. I have to say I liked it. I was surprised.

Fall cleaning right now, and then off to the orchard to do the corn maze with friends. Tomorrow will be G's birthday and I will be ready to drive up to Penn State for my conference. I'll find out whether the other training is happening for me tomorrow as well--in which case, I'll be back Wednesday, here to do haunted Hayride with Nic's cub scout pack, and flying out to Pittsburgh early Friday am to return Saturday.

Kind of hope it all works out.

It's 70 and Sunny on Planet Gabe

We just got back from a wonderful day with G's Pre-K class at the orchard. We had J, a lovely funny boy with a Cars backpack and a cheery smile as our partner. They picked their very own pumpkins, enjoyed the hayride, got lost in the corn maze (that was quite a workout, sprinting to keep up with J), sliding down the big slide at the end of the maze, lunch, playing chase, ice cream, more running, and the bus ride home.


The day is not over yet. I may be headed out of town TWICE next week--not sure. We will all head out to dinner tonight to celebrate Andy and my 15 year anniversary.

It's a good day. It's a perfect fall day.

And Gabe wants me to read to him, so I'd better get busy!

Opportunities emerge from the dust

I am not going to jinx myself by saying that my job sit is settled, but doors are opening that suggest a new career path. I'll go through those doors and see if I can find some more to open.

Gabe is the oldest child in his IU class. I found that out at back to school night. We've come full circle; he began the same class two years ago as the youngest. And old, experienced mom ended up fielding questions about K transition (because I could).

Nic had a so-so cub scout meeting last night. He'll do the year. Gabe I think will be better suited for this. In two years.

Signing Nic up for township b-ball this winter. Thinking about transitioning to township soccer next year--both boys did great playing under the lights at half time on Monday. It was a good night out.

DH and I will be married 15 years tomorrow. G turns 5 on Monday. The next little while is busy for me despite the down time, , workwise.

Everything for a reason. Hanging in there and hoping for the best.

Lots of good things happening

So far Nic’s school year is going well—academically, his grades are all high As; socially, peer pressure is working in our favor. This time last year we were dealing with two hours in-class tantrums. This year, Nic is a hard worker spending nearly all of his day in his class with his peers, and his teacher is fully invested in his success.

We have the aide, but he doesn’t really need the aide. We’ll keep her because you never know. Besides, she helps redirect when needed, and while it’s not needed nearly as much as it was last year, it’s still needed.

We were shot down for the 1:1 aide in Gabriel’s regular preschool, although we have consults in place for him at his regular preschool. I think another meeting is in our immediate future. He is quieter and more passive than Nic, and I think because he isn’t an overt behavioral issue, he’ll get overlooked and slip through the cracks.

We finally figured out that those little end zone sprints, complete with a little dance to stick the landing, is how he processes information. He can’t write his name, but he can tell you in great detail the difference between a star and a comet.

We had a friend come in today, a little girl about G’s age. Mom and I discussed starting up a special ed support group for her district. Her little girl came armed with a coloring book and crayons, I guess thinking that she’d need to keep herself occupied.

After about five minutes, she came into the dining room, and deposited both on the table. I grinned at her mom and remarked that I guess she thought she didn’t need them.

Five minutes after that, she deposited her shoes on the table and whispered to her mom ‘they have a trampoline in there.’

Mom and I had a great uninterrupted conversation while our kids happily—and quietly—played in the next room. When mom and daughter left, Gabriel waved goodbye from my office window. And he stood there a long time after they left.

This is what breaks my heart; the realization and confirmation that my kids’ ostracism from neighborhood play is really affecting my little one. Much of my life and focus is on straightening out my older boy’s life situation. He sucks the air out of the room. My little one is content to take my time and attention as he needs it.

But this is my reminder; my little one needs his own space, his own friends, his own emotional nourishment. Yes, he is doing fine. But I need to help him do better.

Cool, cool summer

We had the best weekend with my brother's family at the shore last weekend. A number of firsts, not the least of which was the water park, where both kids had a blast, but Nic shone. He and his cousin went on a number of rides together (G was angry that he was too small for some of these, but he did all right, playing in the kiddie area and doing his sprints).

Notable, Nic went over in his sandals with no socks. That's a big deal. And he went to the men's room on his own.

But the coolest stuff happened on Sunday. The kids did great at church, and both kids, for the first time, went in to play in the ocean. THAT was the single best thing that happened this summer.

Let's see all the firsts that happened: Nic's friend, the successful kiddie camp out, the successful sleep over and barbecue, the night at the shore where both kids were in their own bed, playing in the ocean, climbing rocks, wading in streams, the black-tie gala, swimming in the township pool, the excursions to new places, church-going, yep, it's been a pretty cool summer.

I can't believe school starts in two weeks. We have quite a bit left to cram in before it does!

So I don't know best

Just a quick write up of the conference at PSU--great conference, we gave a great talk, and I make a cameo at the end of Webcast session 89 (Friday) at the hour 16-17 minute mark.

The closing key note is in direct contradiction with my previous post. Apparently, I need to pursue B despite what his parents think. Man, that puts me in a tough place. I get what they say, he needs his peers and friends among his peers who will have his back.

But as I've said here before, this last mile, this parent acceptance, is overall a mile of really, really bad road. The calls/emails will start shortly, wherein all the moms I NEVER hear from in the school year call or email to see what class Nic is in, the better to head off having THAT kid in THEIR kid's class.....

Girding for harder times ahead.