Anger Management

 We live in intense times.

Some argue that COVD warped us, but our problems began before that. COVD only magnified and exacerbated the problem.

I'm talking about the pervasive anger that is literally everywhere. I'm talking about the fact that we are indeed living in the wild wild west; permission has been given to be an asshole and assert that right whenever one feels they have been slighted.

Take traffic patterns at the toll plaza of the Verrazzano Bridge.  There is never a good time to be there; it is always congested (to wit, I think the only time I hit zero traffic was travelling east to Long Island during the Super Bowl 20-something years ago).  Anyway, anyone who has ever been will tell you that it is DEATH to stop; you keep moving, you keep edging along, you just roll with the traffic, and sooner or later you and everyone else stuck in that scrum will get through it and cruise on to the other side.

Costco on a Sunday afternoon after church isn't any different.  Same principles apply; you merge, you blend, you keep going, and eventually, you will see the person to check off your receipt and you will see the light of day.

The person behind me last Sunday did not see it that way.

So there I am, with my single case of seltzer gotten for elder, because I was there filling the gas tank anyway, where was the harm?  Until I got into the warehouse, and oh fuck, it is way too crowded and peoply in here, but I'm here, so let's just get the thing....

I check out, and do the described merge above.  Somewhere behind me and to the right I hear "I am so fucking sick of these people cutting me off. I am not going to take this anymore.  Fuck this person."

Is she talking about me?  I seem to attract this sort of thing.  But, see above--I had people coming through checkout behind me--it's not like I can STOP; I need to keep moving.

But I'm not the only one doing this thing; indeed, people are filing in ahead of me from the checkouts between me and the exit, so I don't give it another thought except to get to the left side when the line splits so as to avoid the near occasion of the angry person back and to my right.

Except.  Angry person back and to my right gets behind me (probably cutting someone off in so doing) and slams her cart into mine.

I pause.  She really didn't just do that, did she?  I turn around to meet the angry smile that pretends to be bright. "Oh, I'm sorry," she says sweetly.

"No you're not, I heard you," I reply and turn back around. No way in hell was I letting her get away with that.  Dead silence.  She knows I'm listening now. The man checking receipts takes mine.  I maximize the value of my voice that carries.

"My only item," I smile. He thanks me, checking it off.  "See ya!" directed at lady behind me. Don't wanna be yaaaaa.

But I'm shaken as I wheel my cart back to my car.  What if she has a gun?  What if she decides it's okay to shoot because I pissed her off?

What kind of world am I living in that my head is even going here?

The road is not much better.  I drive defensively because people either aren't paying attention or think their time is more important than yours or simply think that the traffic laws don't apply to them. 

I had a similar situation yesterday, driving on a road that merges with another, then separates a quarter of a mile later. This particular intersection is rife with accidents, because all the above.  Someone in a black Kia decided to play chicken on this stretch.  The person ahead of me yielded to the crazy, and I approved. Then the person ahead turned off, and I was behind crazy.  Coming up to a stop light, I moved to the turning lane to take my road.  As I passed crazy, she was SCREAMING at me for passing her.  I couldn't hear her, because my window was up, but she was wailing like a banshee.

I made my turn and made my way quickly and quietly in case she decided to tail me.  Fortunately, she kept going straight, screaming all the while. 

I don't think it was me. I just happened to be there to bear witness. But again that thought.....

Sustaining that kind of anger must be exhausting.