The Wages of Speaking One's Truth

 When someone speaks their truth, you know that it's going to cause a lot of discomfort for everyone else. 

I had to tell younger not to apologize for making me cry yesterday.

You see where this is going. 

Writ large, inclusion in general ed had not had some of the desired outcomes for either kid. While it has yielded employment for both, we are struggling with completing elder's ultimate goal of competitive full time employment. My younger guy has engaged on a more challenging academic path than he would have had he not had the opportunities of access to the same education as his peers.

But.  Both bear the scars of the social piece: neither has attained the "one good friend." 

That bore out in a very public way yesterday. 

Final gathering for band. Senior speeches. G and the other "different" band member sat together with their folks, mostly because they weren't included with the larger bunch.  G didn't prepare a speech: he was going without a script, he told me meaningfully.

If you have read any of this blog to this point, you know how much capital I put into the script. 

So, G, goes dead center chronology-wise. The kids before talk about how band is boring, but they have all these friends, etc.  G goes up and says band is boring, and mom made him do it because he's not allowed to sit in front of screens all the time. 

You legit could have heard a pin drop. Even tone-deaf elder was quietly cringing in his seat.

Because G laid out there his truth;  he wasn't sitting with the other kids--he was sitting with his family. One could (and would) argue that this is his 'choice'; however, like any other group, this one has its own cliques, and he sits outside. 

And he was calling them on it. 

It will be interesting to see what repercussions there will be for G speaking his truth. Today is finals; today he is meant to go on retreat to receive whatever award his band receives, but I wonder now if that will happen, because he spoke his truth.

I broke down in tears.  He apologized for that.

I told him he should never apologize for speaking his truth. 

But he should recognize that his truth will have costs.

And he needs to learn that now.