I've spent a lot of time spinning wheels. Wringing hands. Worrying. Fretting. And anything involving making a decision? Forget it. I'd cover my eyes and blindly point because I didn't trust myself to make the right choice.
The gift of age is that you're able to look back and see what worked, and what didn't. The pointing didn't. Making a decision on a job based on a commute....didn't. Trusting the school administration to place your fifth grader in an appropriate classroom....didn't. Maintaining relationships that continually broke your heart...didn't.
Thus, it is easier to choose things that work, because the scars of the things that didn't although healed, are reminders that shit didn't work and DON'T DO THAT.
Fortunately, God is my copilot and has made it their business to nudge, prod, drop stuff in my lap because they have my faith, so delivery in packages big and small does not escape my notice. And the delivery of such goods ensures that I do the needful to get where I or my kids need to go.
Another change is afoot, and I welcome it. Elder needs my attention, and I can give it. He doesn't like this kind of attention, because it forces him forward. He will get older, even if he digs his heels in and refuses to grow up. I had hoped I would be able to help him gain employment in one place, but now we are looking at something else. The goal is *a* full time job that may help him decide where he wants to go and how he wants to get there.
My way forward could ostensibly broaden our world. It's an opportunity. Possibly for all of us.
Praying as usual. As always. There will always be mistakes and lessons learned, but you always have to take that first step.
And hope God is there to toss you a parachute.
No comments:
Post a Comment