I like lectoring the 7 AM mass. It's a good, small crowd, and I know everyone in the room.
And as usual, Fr M and I have our synchronicity thing going on. It never fails that I have a question in my heart and Fr M gives me an answer.
The readings today centered on the whole idea of God's love, and our response to it. The passion and emotion of falling in love is only a shadow of God's love for us.
I've been struggling with a relationship that I have not been entirely comfortable with, borne of not understanding some one else's choices and judging them on my lack of understanding.
Unconnected? Well, they were until Fr M started his homily. He began talking about his love for romance and old movies; unfortunately, his memory failed him and the movie he was trying to describe, relating to love, was falling flat.
"In this movie, they were supposed to meet, ah, not at the Statue of Liberty..."
He was going on in this way for about 2 minutes when I called up "Empire State Building."
"Yes!" His eyes lit up. So that gave me the movie.
"An Affair to Remember," I hissed.
He grinned and looked at me from the Ambo. "Do you want to come up here and finish?"
I grinned back and shook my head. And he went on to give one of the best homilies he ever gave. I can't do it justice, but I'll try. He spoke of the intensity of first love, and how reading the readings was like being given insight into some one's love for some one else--and being invited to partake in that love.
Deeper than that, not judging others. Truly loving and accepting others, because that's what God does, that's what Jesus did.
So anyway. I'm done judging. I insist that I don't, but I do. And listening to Fr M today reminded me of how far I've come in my loving and acceptance of other people, but reminded me I'm not done yet.
I wanted to tell Fr M about all these things, but he has a busy day ahead, and I was shooed out.
It's okay. I know he knows these things, anyway, and telling him would be beside the point.
But more importantly, I know what I still need to do. I need to be more generous and accepting, and just allow people to do what they do because everyone is doing the best he or she knows how. But my job is to do better, because people see it, and are moved by it. I really do believe that much can be accomplished by example, by not just talking the talk, but walking the walk.
I already see the good I do. But I know I can do more.
And beginning today, I will.