Checking Boxes

 So yesterday ended up being a mental health preservation kind of day.  In addition to my own weekly session, elder had me also sitting in on his.  I left my session recharged just enough to have his drain me again. 

I need to be positive here. He's come a long way in some ways the last two years--he's had a lot of his own management stuff to put in place before we can move the ball forward. Apparently, he's only willing to move the ball forward if the ball staying behind negatively impacts his contentment. 

Case in point:  we have a family thing coming up, and both dad and I told him to alert his work so he wouldn't be scheduled. He did not. He was scheduled over the event. Now he's upset.  He's even more upset that dad and I aren't going to reroute plans to accommodate the work thing (natural consequences). So now he is working to reroute his schedule. 

I'm a little bit holding my breath here; this is the preferred job, he's been there almost 5 years, and I would hate for him to lose it over something stupid, like his taking the wrong tone with a manager. 

I listened in on his half of the conversation with a manager on the phone last night while pretending to be intent on something else. He sounded fine. He didn't resolve the issue, but he hung up the phone in a better mood and told me he would get back in touch with them today and see what he can arrange. 

Not related:  I went to my own appointment earlier in the day and someone called my name. It was someone who knew me who was there with her daughter.  I said hello, exchanged pleasantries, and then R came out for me. I laughingly told him when we got back to his office that everyone seems to know me and my boys, so they have me at a disadvantage. And now they can go advertise to the world that I'm in therapy.

We talked about that a few minutes, where it's a shame there's stigma attached to seeing someone to keep your head screwed on straight. I observed that for all the stuff we have going on, we have 100 problems and Horsham Clinic ain't one of them. 

(and this had always always always loomed in the back of my mind that this could be a thing.  Even despite everything elder has gone through, this is not one of those things.)

So yay, no crisis. Just the slog. 

Back to that. I had to hear about what a nag I was during elder's session.  Not that I have to defend my position, but it always seems to fall on me to explain (for the millionth time) that his goal is full time, competitive employment--benefits, the whole nine.  His therapist looked at me with something that looked like pity, that I would even DREAM such a thing is possible. 

Meanwhile, my younger guy is plugging along and quietly slaying all manner of things.He kept me up late last night waxing poetic about Jaws and asking me if we could watch it together. I'm sure we can clear a couple hours to do that this weekend. 

(I need to remember to pay his tuition)

This week has been all about checking all the boxes. I did a little of my own this week. A couple of things were less about goals and emotional needs and more about doing the things because I didn't want guilt about the consequences of things left undone. 

I should feel better about having done the thing, but I don't. 

That's kinda why therapy.

I need to celebrate the things we accomplish and keep reminding myself  that these things are worthy of celebration. Our work never ends. So we need to allow ourselves a minute or whatever time we need to acknowledge when our hard work pays off.

Let's celebrate that check in the box.

And keep building.