Monday, April 25, 2011

Answered Prayers

Going into my staycation, much weighed on my mind and heart. Big changes lie ahead. I'm generally okay with change, to a point. But with so much uncertainty ahead, I called in the big guns...and the Big Guy.

Overall, I've come to a point in my life where I accept change as a constant. When it arrives, it's always the right size, shape, and color--even if I don't think so the moment it happens.

I've looked back enough times over enough forks in the road to see that the change always happened for the better--even if I lacked the wherewithal to get it at the time.

As I served the Holy Thursday mass, I felt a shift in the way I looked at the world, prompted by Fr C asking during the homily: "What do people see in you? What do you see in other people?"

I've thought this many times over the years, but he told a story of his own experience that resonated with me in ways I didn't expect. And continues to. He has given me much to ponder in my heart.

And during Easter Vigil, I found myself serving the mass--something that was not an option while I was in grade school--and how rewarding it was after all these years to be up there as an altar server. Hubby brought the kids to vigil mass, and they did great.

And sometime over the course of mass, peace settled on me. And a voice speaking directly to my heart said: "You can handle whatever comes. Don't you realize that I have made it so?"

I wrote two weeks ago that the poem Footprints was on my mind; my experience Saturday night validated everything I ever thought or believed.

Fr M had something to do with that, too. In his homily, he spoke of his own experiences with depression, and how he found his way through it to the other side. And I think every single person in that church was awed and touched--even hubby, present with the boys as a surprise and gift to me.

So, these thoughts and experiences I bring forward to confront my destiny and change--whatever forms these things take.

I am ready.

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