TF am I doing?

 I’m trying stuff on.

I bought a paddle, so yeah, I’m dragon boating again. I need to get new tips for my darts because I’m beating the hell out of them. And I found a women’s group in the next town that does random stuff.

To wit, I had a cooking class with one and a baby shower for the other this weekend.

And don’t think for a minute I didn’t “what the fuck am I doing?” All the way to both places.

I’m always glad I am doing the thing once I’m there, but oh brother, the anxiety getting there. I’ve gotten into the habit of broadcasting my intentions because that level of accountability ensures I do the thing I said I’m going to do.

So why? Why do it?

For years I said no to a lot because I had coaching/teaching/chaperoning/shadowing for one or both kids. Make no mistake: my work is not finished. However, I’m finally doing some stuff I’ve wanted to do for a while for no better reason than I CAN.

Plus, doing stuff that takes me out of my regularly scheduled reality helps me stay sorta sane.

And i’m so far down 15 pounds in an effort to stave off medication for diabetes and cholesterol. My next round of blood work is in 3 months and the goal is to double my current loss. So yay. Also closing the loops every day on my watch, so it’s a work in progress.

I’m a work in progress.