All the good

Coming off a somewhat crazy busy weekend, for the first time in a long time I am not filled with dread.

For the longest time, the anticipation of anything I *had* to do, be it track practice, den meetings, PREP classes, and last year for the first time, hosting a band event, ratcheted up awful levels of stress and anxiety for me. And most of the time, anything I *had* to do went off without a hitch (maybe a hiccup, certainly not more than that), but the knowledge that I could do whatever needed doing was not enough to stave off the dread I felt in the days and hours leading up to (fill in the blank).

And when you consider all the *stuff* I used to do, I spent most of my life in this state.

So last weekend was THAT weekend, and I didn't have all the attendant baggage that came with it.

In fact, it ALL felt pretty good. Largely because I figured out what I'm good at, and that's what I'm doing. All that's required is that I literally just show up.

And after years of forcing things, this feels pretty good.