On the Verge of Summer

So as I dropped the kids off at summer holiday camp this am, I was amazed at how 'normal' we look.  Mom, dropping off kids for the day, heads off to work.

Normal.

Or, at any rate, just like anyone else. And by hubby's reckoning, we are as crazed as everyone else, and something needs to give.

It's been an eventful year. Nic wrestled, played basketball, ran track (not very well or cooperatively, but there's always next year) and Gabriel played piano and violin and sold more popcorn than any other scout in his den.  And we've gotten both of them extra help in the form of social skills groups and even found friends for them both to hang out with.

But the ends are fraying. It's been a tough but triumphant year. And we are all ready to hit re-set.

I'm struggling with what's next. I gave a keynote speech at a luncheon last month, and the president of the school asked me "so what's next for you? You should be lobbying in DC." I sent him a follow up email inquiring what that looked like and have yet to get an answer. Sweet talker.

I don't know. For the first time in a long time, I can't see what's next, only what's now. And what's now is that I need a break, to unwire, to disconnect for a little while to see what I really want.

But as near as I can tell, what I want is what I have. It's crazy, it's busy, it's maddening, but it's all mine.

I just want some quiet to hear myself think. I wonder what I have to say.