So a month in to the doctoral program, there’s been no shortage of CTJ moments. My first presentation earned kudos, but I bankrupted my time allotment on it, so racing to catch up. Reading and connecting all the dots, I’m reminded again of my why, always present here at home, and all the required reading confirms everything in my current situation.
I don’t know if I will make it through, but I will show up and do the work and hope for the best.
I’m happy for the volume of work in a way because it’s a distraction from the sometimes overwhelming sadness I am feeling. The school bus no longer comes for us. I should be overjoyed. Instead the world seems to be folding in on itself into an increasingly smaller space for my boys.
I need to finish this assignment.
I need to finish this degree.
I need to disrupt this whole system.
This is the only place I know where to start.
