Nic happily reported when he came home yesterday that "B listened."
What this little exercise established:
1) It took care of the immediate bullying problem, but it also
2) Established to all and sundry that Nic will not be a target--and that Nic will deal with this problem, not mom running to the principal on his behalf.
3) Showed Nic that he does indeed have control over some things and most importantly
4) Gave his self-esteem a huge boost. Next time it happens, he has a script and a course of action.
You should see him, when he smiles, he is lit from the inside. I am so proud of that kid.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Making My Peace
I excel at crazy-making prognostication.
It usually starts with an itchy, anaphalactic feeling at the back of my throat and spreads like a fever, until it has me jumping out of my seat and pacing the house like a caged animal.
Sometimes my worst fears are realized; other times, it's just PMS.
Right now, I find myself rocking in my seat and wondering where the latest threat is coming from. Health concerns, house worries, economic woes--I have a little of all these on my plate right now.
I should be pleased with the fact that my older boy is suddenly wise beyond his years. He told his chief tormentor this am (I saw him do it from the bus stop) that he has a choice--leave him alone or he goes to the principal.
I'm teaching him to fire a warning shot across the bow before attacking. There are reasons that this is necessary, but he doesn't necessarily know them. Nor do I, but hard knocks have taught me that it's so, regardless of the reason.
He smiled at me from his seat, and waved, as the bus drove away.
That's a first.
He's going to be okay. Regardless of whatever happens.
It usually starts with an itchy, anaphalactic feeling at the back of my throat and spreads like a fever, until it has me jumping out of my seat and pacing the house like a caged animal.
Sometimes my worst fears are realized; other times, it's just PMS.
Right now, I find myself rocking in my seat and wondering where the latest threat is coming from. Health concerns, house worries, economic woes--I have a little of all these on my plate right now.
I should be pleased with the fact that my older boy is suddenly wise beyond his years. He told his chief tormentor this am (I saw him do it from the bus stop) that he has a choice--leave him alone or he goes to the principal.
I'm teaching him to fire a warning shot across the bow before attacking. There are reasons that this is necessary, but he doesn't necessarily know them. Nor do I, but hard knocks have taught me that it's so, regardless of the reason.
He smiled at me from his seat, and waved, as the bus drove away.
That's a first.
He's going to be okay. Regardless of whatever happens.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Believe
I'd be remiss if I didn't write a few lines on my big guy and the strides he's made.
Seven years ago, his future was a tabla rasa, or as good as. He had no speech and a diagnosis of autism.
Five years ago, he had little or no conversational speech.
Two years ago, he still tantrummed when words failed him. And they frequently did.
As recently as September, he was still unable to tell me when things were going awry in school or on the bus. Then we made the transition to the big bus.
And boy. Has he been schooled.
Kids with autism miss social cues. Nonverbal cues. They are literal. If some one tells them that he or she is their friend, they take them at their word, because it doesn't occur to them to say things for the sake of saying them. Speech makes it true to the child with autism, even if it isn't.
Nic has figured this piece out, and it wasn't clear to me that he had until I was giving a talk on Creating a Vision for Your Child. I described what happened with the laser pointer the other day, and while I was giving the talk, my phone went off.
The voicemail left me told me that Nic did exactly what he needed to do. He told the principal what happened, and the kids involved were talked to, and parents were called.
No big deal on one hand. But these kids weren't banking on Nic sticking up for himself. I'm sure it came as a rude shock.
One mom said to me, "The big bus scares me, how can you let your child on it?"
I told her it scared me, too. "But he's learned more about social skills in three months than he has in social skills classes in the preceding four years. Living in the real world? THIS is where it all starts."
To any typical kid, this is easy. But to a kid with autism, they have to LEARN all the stuff typical kids just KNOW as a matter of course.
And by God, Nic's learning....
Seven years ago, his future was a tabla rasa, or as good as. He had no speech and a diagnosis of autism.
Five years ago, he had little or no conversational speech.
Two years ago, he still tantrummed when words failed him. And they frequently did.
As recently as September, he was still unable to tell me when things were going awry in school or on the bus. Then we made the transition to the big bus.
And boy. Has he been schooled.
Kids with autism miss social cues. Nonverbal cues. They are literal. If some one tells them that he or she is their friend, they take them at their word, because it doesn't occur to them to say things for the sake of saying them. Speech makes it true to the child with autism, even if it isn't.
Nic has figured this piece out, and it wasn't clear to me that he had until I was giving a talk on Creating a Vision for Your Child. I described what happened with the laser pointer the other day, and while I was giving the talk, my phone went off.
The voicemail left me told me that Nic did exactly what he needed to do. He told the principal what happened, and the kids involved were talked to, and parents were called.
No big deal on one hand. But these kids weren't banking on Nic sticking up for himself. I'm sure it came as a rude shock.
One mom said to me, "The big bus scares me, how can you let your child on it?"
I told her it scared me, too. "But he's learned more about social skills in three months than he has in social skills classes in the preceding four years. Living in the real world? THIS is where it all starts."
To any typical kid, this is easy. But to a kid with autism, they have to LEARN all the stuff typical kids just KNOW as a matter of course.
And by God, Nic's learning....
Friday, December 4, 2009
The Worst that Can Happen
It's been a banner week in autism central.
Nic had not one, but two kids try to shine a laser pointer in his eyes while waiting for the bus in the cafeteria yesterday. Instead of confiscating the laser pointer, the teacher threatened detention, and the owner passed it to some one else to torment Nic.
Guess who's going to the principal this am. I anticipate call #5 for the school year sometime this morning.
G's new nickname is Sluggo.
I am presenting this morning on Advocacy and Creating a Vision for My Child.
Why am I picturing both boys wearing chain mail?
Because like it or not, I'm raising a pair of warriors.
Nic had not one, but two kids try to shine a laser pointer in his eyes while waiting for the bus in the cafeteria yesterday. Instead of confiscating the laser pointer, the teacher threatened detention, and the owner passed it to some one else to torment Nic.
Guess who's going to the principal this am. I anticipate call #5 for the school year sometime this morning.
G's new nickname is Sluggo.
I am presenting this morning on Advocacy and Creating a Vision for My Child.
Why am I picturing both boys wearing chain mail?
Because like it or not, I'm raising a pair of warriors.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
The Other Shoe
I'm just about finished another project, giving a talk tomorrow, and cannot escape the awful feeling that something really, really bad is about to happen.
Part of it might be the leak in the roof (discovered at 11:17 pm last night). Damage has been contained, but it needs to get fixed. Add that to the fact that as of right now, I don't have a batter on deck.
Further add that no one is looking to do any extraneous work right now.
Things have been going well, which means we are headed toward the inevitable down cycle. These things are good because they keep us honest, relatively idiot-proof, and priorities in check.
They're bad because while they will end eventually, as does everything, we don't know how long we're in for.
Girding for weather ahead. Because there is. And we're in for it.
Part of it might be the leak in the roof (discovered at 11:17 pm last night). Damage has been contained, but it needs to get fixed. Add that to the fact that as of right now, I don't have a batter on deck.
Further add that no one is looking to do any extraneous work right now.
Things have been going well, which means we are headed toward the inevitable down cycle. These things are good because they keep us honest, relatively idiot-proof, and priorities in check.
They're bad because while they will end eventually, as does everything, we don't know how long we're in for.
Girding for weather ahead. Because there is. And we're in for it.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
It's a burrito kind of night
Easy dinner. Nic is back in the posse's good graces. For today. G is a thug.
Just another day in paradise.
Just another day in paradise.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Paella Made Easy
It's easier to think of this more as a framework than an actual recipe. Paella is actually a very forgiving dish in terms of what you add and what you choose to substitute. I will provide the original listing of ingredients side by side with my improvisations. I recommend following the recipe to the letter the first time, and then as you get comfortable with making it, improvise! This has turned into my signature display dish.
1/4 cup oil (I use olive oil, less because I use fresh, hot dinner sausage, but more on this in a bit)
2 cloves garlic (I tend to use three or four, but you use what you like!)
2 c brown rice (I have used Arborio, jasmine and brown--arborio is AWESOME)
4 cups hot chicken stock (I STRONGLY recommend making your own, will include a recipe below)
1 or 2 T saffron (optional--this is nice if you have in, but totally not a deal breaker if you don't)
3 large tomatoes, cut into wedges (I have also used canned and frozen tomatoes)
2 cups peas, fresh or frozen
6 artichoke hearts, quartered (optional--but REALLY good to have!)
2 sweet peppers, chopped
1 chicken, cooked and disjointed (I usually throw in part of a rotisserie chicken from Costco--if you have chicken breasts or a package of legs, that will work fine, too)
1/4 lb of chorizo (I use a lb of hot dinner sausage)
8 shrimp or prawns (I usually use about a lb of frozen shrimp that I've thawed somewhat under cold running water)
The recipe calls for a large shallow two-handled frying pan, but my biggest one wasn't big enough. I use a stock pot.
Okay, so heat oil and garlic and remove garlic when brown (I leave it in). At this point I also add the chopped peppers, tomatoes and sausage and let that go until the sausage is browned and the peppers are soft and the tomatoes have reduced a little. Add the rice and brown; then add the stock (if you want to remove a 1/4 cup of stock and replace with white wine, that's actually a nice touch).
Cover and steam (LOW heat!) until rice is almost done. Add peas, (you can substitute corn!), artichoke hearts if you have them, chicken and shrimp, mix up, cover and let cook an additional 10 minutes or until shrimp are pink.
And that's it!
Chicken stock is easy to make; put your chicken odds and ends in a pot add a few sticks of celery chopped up and a carrot or two (also chopped) along with a bay leaf, cover with water, and simmer for a couple of hours. Chill the whole pot in the fridge over night and strain the next day, freezing whatever you don't need in 4 cup containers (or whatever you have). It's a great way to use a rotisserie carcass! And it's also a heck of a lot cheaper than buying stock.
Let me know if ??
1/4 cup oil (I use olive oil, less because I use fresh, hot dinner sausage, but more on this in a bit)
2 cloves garlic (I tend to use three or four, but you use what you like!)
2 c brown rice (I have used Arborio, jasmine and brown--arborio is AWESOME)
4 cups hot chicken stock (I STRONGLY recommend making your own, will include a recipe below)
1 or 2 T saffron (optional--this is nice if you have in, but totally not a deal breaker if you don't)
3 large tomatoes, cut into wedges (I have also used canned and frozen tomatoes)
2 cups peas, fresh or frozen
6 artichoke hearts, quartered (optional--but REALLY good to have!)
2 sweet peppers, chopped
1 chicken, cooked and disjointed (I usually throw in part of a rotisserie chicken from Costco--if you have chicken breasts or a package of legs, that will work fine, too)
1/4 lb of chorizo (I use a lb of hot dinner sausage)
8 shrimp or prawns (I usually use about a lb of frozen shrimp that I've thawed somewhat under cold running water)
The recipe calls for a large shallow two-handled frying pan, but my biggest one wasn't big enough. I use a stock pot.
Okay, so heat oil and garlic and remove garlic when brown (I leave it in). At this point I also add the chopped peppers, tomatoes and sausage and let that go until the sausage is browned and the peppers are soft and the tomatoes have reduced a little. Add the rice and brown; then add the stock (if you want to remove a 1/4 cup of stock and replace with white wine, that's actually a nice touch).
Cover and steam (LOW heat!) until rice is almost done. Add peas, (you can substitute corn!), artichoke hearts if you have them, chicken and shrimp, mix up, cover and let cook an additional 10 minutes or until shrimp are pink.
And that's it!
Chicken stock is easy to make; put your chicken odds and ends in a pot add a few sticks of celery chopped up and a carrot or two (also chopped) along with a bay leaf, cover with water, and simmer for a couple of hours. Chill the whole pot in the fridge over night and strain the next day, freezing whatever you don't need in 4 cup containers (or whatever you have). It's a great way to use a rotisserie carcass! And it's also a heck of a lot cheaper than buying stock.
Let me know if ??
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